Saturday, August 26, 2006

A Campus Divided

(There were two posts today as they are time sensitive, a possible stem cell research breakthrough and Governor Fletcher's visit to the University of Louisville. I was going to post them Thursday but the news of Pluto being demoted trumped everything else. Come back next week for a look back on Hurricane Katrina and any new news.)

On Thursday of this week, Governor Fletcher of Kentucky visited the University of Louisville's campus. A million dollar project is in the works to reduce traffic on Eastern Parkway, which divides the engineering school, Speed School, from the rest of campus. This is because this road is dangerous for pedestrians crossing it and has resulted in injuries and fatalities.

What Governor Fletcher should have done is stage an accident during his speech. Then, he could say this project couldn't come a moment too soon. Fletcher is a doctor, so he could rush out into the street and save the student's life. This might help boast his approval rating which is rather low right now. If you're unfamiliar with Kentucky's politics, Fletcher is in hot water for a hiring scandal, a blanket pardon for his staff, and was potentially going to be indicted.

Part of the proposed project includes a barrier to prevent jay walking. Somehow building a wall between the Speed School and the Main Campus is suppose to unite them together. This sounds more like the Berlin Wall to me. Governor Fletcher, tear down this wall. Seriously, many students leave engineering for arts and science, business, etc. So, by building a wall they will prevent the emigration of engineering students, just like the Berlin Wall was built to prevent the emigration of East Germans. Next thing you know, the crosswalk is going to be a checkpoint, allowing only Arts and Science students over and back to go to Chemistry class. Us engineering students will be dependent upon vending machines and food thrown away by commuter students for sustenance. So you Speed School students out there, be ready for the day you come out of class and find a wall trapping you in.

2 Comments:

Blogger Rich Clark said...

Brilliant title man.

Sat Aug 26, 03:47:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Jason would appreciate an alternate shortcut when they dispose of those two lanes on Eastern Parkway said...

I love your idea- a staged accident, and "Dr." Gov. Fletcher saving the student, then saying "this idea couldn't come too soon". I wish they'd develop an alternate route while destroying two lanes! I like being able to cut down to 3rd street to go to Kroger or the baseball stadium... It'll not be a shortcut now!

Sun Aug 27, 12:42:00 AM EDT  

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